Weekly Challenge: Speak With Ease
This week I challenge you to speak without censorship, without watering yourself down, without consideration for what the other person wants to hear. To let your voice rise up from within you with energy and passion. To speak words that come naturally, to just let yourself be you.
Throw caution to the wind! Who cares if you sound silly (or whatever); the real you is so much more wonerful than anything you could try and force yourself to become.
I know for myself at least that a large portion of my anxiety is social anxiety (basically, the fear of people). And believe you me, its not something that ever completely goes away, I think. Even today where I’m at a place that I can acknowledge that I’ve come a really long way and very frequently have days when I feel like king of the world, I am dreading making a call to put a parking fine on a payment plan, almost considering paying it all at once and being broke just to avoid the call. These are those little moments though when you have to remind yourself: its not a big deal, and I will honour myself and do what is for my greater good.
Plus, the added bonus. I am an absolute firm believer in the fact that every time you push yourself and have a little personal victory, you’re always rewarded. Firstly by the physical opportunity taken gives you real life results that benefit you, yet more importantly, there’s this feeling you get that I would describe as a mixture of pride and freedom that is just so good that it makes it all worth it.
Anyway, back to my point about SA! When you tell yourself that you’re going to just speak as naturally as you can without overthinking what you should or should not say/be like in any given interaction, you take out a large proportion of the worry/anxiety that fuels the monster. In my experience, its like that worry you let go of gives room for genuine enjoyment to fill and you find yourself actually taking an active part in conversations, and really enjoying it! Its a life lesson for us all to understand that talking to people actually isn’t that hard, and in actual fact, its not as easy fuck up as we’re afraid of. In the end, people see the real you no matter what you say. And you’re gorgeous, so get out there and work on that charm of yours!
So, this is my challenge for you this week. Be yourself. Speak without censorship. Let communication happen as effortlessly as you can manage, just say the first thing you think of! I promise, it makes things a lot easier.
Always be practicin’ your positive self talk.
Because TRUUUUUUST ME- this is a lesson that I have learnt the hard way! No one else is going to be your biggest fan, cheerleader, or source of praise and encouragement. You have to be this person for yourself! You have to sing your own theme song, pull your multi-coloured toe socks up, and get out into the big brave world where you belong!
Yup, that’s right. Where you belong. (surprise surprise- you were not actually put on earth to sit in your bedroom and scroll tumblr all day. it sucks, I know.)
You have a story to tell, gifts to share, and folks from far and wide to enchant. KNOW that you are a badass soul whos got shit to achieve, baby. KNOW that you deserve to take up space. KNOW that you’re one of a kind and cannot be replaced.
And be ding-dang kind to yourself. You honestly have to be your own best friend! Would you talk to your BFF the way that you do to you? (Cliche sentence yet holy smokes does it ring true.)
Remember when you’re doing well to recognise that, and tell yourself that today you kicked butt. Reward ice cream for you. Recognise when you didn’t do so well today, and don’t just beat yourself up about it. Consider the causes of your little step backwards, think about how you can prevent it happening again, write down what you’ve learned from the experience, and try again tomorrow. Look after yourself after your shitty day, give yourself some much needed TLC. You’ve never done a ‘bad’ enough thing that makes you not deserving of being loved and nurtured. So give that to you.
Communication is always something to work on, especially our inner talk. It can make or break us, ultimately, and its never too early or too late to analyse how your most important relationship (the relationship with YOU!) is going.
"Your thoughts will inevitably bring you either failure or success, according to which thought is strongest. Therefore, you must thoroughly believe in your own plans, use your talents to carry them out, and be receptive so that God can work through you."- Paramhansa Yogananda
THIS IS A RANDOM POST TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL EXPRESSION OF A HUMAN AND YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE PROUD OF YOURSELF AND THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT THINK OF A MEMORY OF YOU AND CAN’T HELP BUT SMILE AND I HOPE THAT YOU ARE EXCITED FOR SOME ASPECT OF YOUR DAY TODAY BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE FULFILLED AND HAPPY THAT IS ALL THANK YOU
- Tea (especially chamomile and peppermint)
- Burn lavender oil
- Sit in the garden and take deep breaths, let the fresh air fill your lungs
- Play gentle Celtic music and lay on your floor and let the music bring you peace
- Go for a walk and soak up all the colours, textures and smells of nature. let it heal you.
Anxiety is a pain in my bunghole cause all I have to do today is go to my Dad’s house and I’ve been mildly stressing all day- when I’m at the front door I know I’ll be (in technical terms) ‘fa-reaking out’! One thing I’ve learned over the years though is that every time I push myself to get over the hill, get there, and do my best- there’s ALWAYS a positive outcome. It’s like the universes little reward for taking the opportunity. That’s just my thought for the day! Wish me luck though.. Xx
A letter to myself;
I love you. I love you for so so many reasons, and I wish you would remember that more often. If no one else in the world understands you, I do. If no one else in the world loves you, I do.
I’ve been hard on you though, haven’t I? I’m sorry that I call you names and don’t treat you with enough respect at times. Really, I do it because I want you to be the best you can be. Being around someone so often though I guess we all become a bit comfortable.. I need to learn to accept you at your worst, as well as at your best. You truly are always good enough for me, I swear. Sometimes I get so caught up in looking at other people and I push you to try and be more ‘perfect’. I’m sorry. I’ve got to remember that you’re on your own path, with your own spirit, and when I think of things like that I can recognise that you’re actually doing pretty good. And honey you’ve come so far. I’m proud of you for that. If no one else can see it, I can.
Do you remember when you were little and we used to play together all the time? We should really get together more often like those days. No judgement, no worrying about others, just content to do what you wanted. A lot has happened between then and now and don’t discount the suffering you’ve been through. All in all though, it’s promoting change, and it’s helped you grow.
Let yourself flourish. I won’t judge you anymore. Do what your heart calls and have faith in yourself. You are allowed to be here on this earth and you have permission to take up space. You weren’t put here by accident and you are loved, no matter how much it doesn’t seem that way sometimes.
You’re not alone because I am here with you. Other people are not here to validate your experience and no amount of permission from others to do your thing will set you free until you yourself have given it to you first.
I love you. I love your laugh, your smile, your voice, your style, your legs, your crooked teeth, little hands, and sturdy knees.
From now on, let’s work together. Let’s be kind and let’s be daring.
WOO I HAVE A COMPUTER!!
You know what this means, don’t you?!
I can do this semi-properly (hopefully) now!!
I mean yes, granted, I am a sporadic writer at the best of times but hey, we all get along fine, don’t we.
I trust you’re all having a lovely day. It’s kind of chilly here in Melbourne which sucks for a tropical lady such as myself, I’m missing summer HARD.
I would like to ask you followers something though, or at least get you thinking to yourself:
What in your life needs to change? Is your anxiety holding you back from making those changes?
I sure as hell need a new job. I’m 20 years old, moved out, and I’m still working in a supermarket deli. I feel so stagnant and outdated, I know for a fact that my job reflects where I was at and what was challenging for me when I was 15, but no more, I tell you. No. More.
My self worth cannot grow whilst such an important area of my life is backwards. I’ve been so scared, though.. Scared to even LOOK at my resume! Scared that whatever job I move into I will fail at. Deathly scared of interviews, of meeting a new boss, of being ‘the new girl’.
You know what though?
Sometimes you’ve just got to say “fuck it”.
This is one of those times when I get all scared and I huddle, and I think that’s what I should do because of all the fear in my veins, yet look around Stephanie! Where has this behaviour lead you? I’m so unhappy with my job and as such I’m having bad financial troubles. So it’s time to say fuck it, I know I’m scared yet I have made the decision that I am going to make my life better. The fear will only be temporary, I’ve overcome scarier situations before, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
SO, I submitted my application today to the job I’d love most! Faith in myself wooo! And now fingers crossed that soon enough things will be different.
~~spicy steph xx
Is there anything in your life that needs to change? Is your anxiety holding you back?
“If you’re feeling small today I dare you to sit up straighter, look someone who scares you directly in the eye, take up room at the dinner table, make yourself bigger, when ‘sorry’ laps at the back of your tongue, tries to pick up after you, remind yourself that your existence doesn’t demand an apology, that you are allowed to make mess and take up space. Do not be afraid to expand. Every single goddamn minute. Expand, expand, expand.”
– Femme Fatale (via aurelle)
I don’t care anymore if people treat me like shit (ok like I still CARE but I will not let it affect every aspect of my life, yknow?). I know I’m super fucking sensitive but from now on I’m going to treat myself with love & respect, regardless of stupid stupid people.
I’m tired of a lot of things. I’m tired of being depressed, of getting out of bed in the morning, of sobbing in my car, those sorts of things. What I’m more SO DONE with though is the self hatred and punishment I place upon myself for being sad/ not perfect.
The sadness is there. I can’t change that like magic, it’s going to take time and practice to be happy. The step I’m taking now though is that I am going to stop pretending that I’m something I’m not. Here I am, I’m Stephanie and I’m struggling right now. I’ve got a long history of fucked up shit and here I am doing my best to live in this world. I’m trying really hard. And I’m going to be my own best friend now.
I will give myself a warm nesquik if it’s cold; I will hug myself when I need one; I will follow every negative thought about myself with a positive one; I will make playlists of good music; wear clothes that make me feel good; make sure I eat enough; and have compassion for myself.
I’ve just spent far too long bullying myself, and it stops now.
Be your own guardian angel, your own eccentric supportive aunt, your own best friend.
Tell yourself “You can do this, you can do this, you can do this.”
You ARE strong enough.